It’s no surprise that we love weddings! No matter how many weddings we go to, each one speaks a little differently, making each wedding an enticing tale of love, better than the love stories in the movies! The vastness of the feeling and the uniqueness of every wedding never ceases to surprise us. Love is that one language that speaks universally, piercing through the glass ceilings of differences in culture, and demanding to be felt. The waywardness of love yields beautiful results, bringing to us wedding experiences which we probably experienced before. That’s what makes the social fabric of weddings so colorfully gloriously textured. While love is universal, weddings are expressed differently in different communities. While the expressions can be varying and a little different from how you know a wedding day to be, the end goal is the same- the souls deciding to spend all of their eternities together! Staying curious and soaking in cultures other than our own makes our mental horizons broader and lets us engage in those weddings in the appropriate ways. Here, in this cozy corner of the internet, we are talking about Jewish weddings, deep-diving into the terms, traditions, and rituals! Whether you are planning a Jewish wedding of your own or visiting one, we hope this helps!

 

A Jewish Wedding Step-by-Step Guide l(400)

If you are confused about the chronological line-up of all the wedding rituals of a traditional Jewish wedding day, allow us to take you on a virtual walk through the day and show how one event leads up the next. The Jewish wedding, admittedly, is not a one-day affair. The rituals start as early as the decision to get married is cemented. A Tenaim ceremony announces the upcoming marriage by reading a document of a commitment and the symbolic shattering of a dish. At a closer date to the wedding day, the aufruf occurs, a ritual where the groom or the couple quotes a blessing over the Torah and is showered with candy by well-meaning loved ones. The bride, and sometimes the groom, prepare spiritually for the impending wedding by immersing themself in the mikveh, which is a ritual pool.

 

On the wedding day, before the ceremony, the ketubah is signed by the couple, accompanied by two witnesses. This is when many couples do the Bedeken ceremony. The marriage ceremony is then conducted under a chuppah. The ketubah is generally read between these two parts. The ceremony traditionally includes two blessings, one over wine and one for reserving the couple for each other, followed by an exchange of rings and the groom’s recitation of the traditional formula. The nissuin ceremony involves the recitation of seven blessings, aka the Sheva Berakhot (aka Brachot, or Brochos may refer to Berakhah, a Jewish benediction), following which the groom shatters a glass in memory of the Temple’s destruction. After the ceremony, the newlyweds spend a short time alone together in yichud, after which they proceed to the wedding feast. The Sheva Berakhot is again repeated after dinner and the beautiful Jewish wedding comes to an end. While not all of these traditions are followed by all Jewish couples, this is a reference point for couples to pick and choose from. However, the involvement of the rituals depends on the cultural and religious background of the couple at hand. 

 

Common Jewish Wedding Traditions 

If you can't tell a Bedeken from Ketubah, read on to find everything that you need to know about a Jewish wedding! We have provided a breakdown of all the Jewish wedding traditions in the simplest manner.

Aufruf: Aufruf is a ceremony where either the groom or the couple together are summoned up to recite an aliyah or special blessing recited before and after the reading of the Torah. This happens during the Shabbat before the wedding. Following this ritual, the rabbi blesses the couple, while the guests may toss candy to the groom or couple in celebration. 

Fasting: Some Jewish couples, depending on the Jewish community to which they belong, fast on their wedding day. The couple can eat again after the wedding ceremony is over.

Head Coverings: It is a common sight to see the male guests at a Jewish wedding ceremony cover their heads with a skullcap, also known as a kippah or yarmulke. It is a sign of respect. The married women also cover their hair with a lace head covering secured with a bobby pin. Generally, such head coverings are provided at the wedding site, for convenience.

Separate Seating: At more orthodox Jewish weddings, men and women are required to sit separately during the ceremony. There can be a partition that divides the men and women, and this can expand beyond the ceremony too, with separate seating during the reception and separate dancing as well!

Bedeken: The Bedeken ceremony happens before the wedding in more Orthodox Jewish communities. This is where the bride and groom are divided and the groom and his male friends and relatives make a joyful procession to the bride, who sits on a throne encircled by female loved ones. Amidst singing, dancing, and merrymaking, the groom places a veil over the bride’s face, which represents modesty and has religious connotations. 

Ketubah: This is a common Jewish wedding tradition which refers to the signing of the ketubah, or marriage contract. This ritual happens shortly before the actual wedding ceremony and the couple chooses two witnesses to sign the ketubah with them, and a rabbi or officiant administers the process.

Chuppah: A chuppah is the wedding canopy consisting of a cloth supported by four poles, each standing on its own or being held by loved ones. The chuppah can vary in design, ranging from simple to intricately decorated, and it represents the creation of a Jewish home and a display of hospitality to the gathered guests.

The Processional: The processional in a Jewish wedding tradition can be a little different as it is commenced by the rabbi, followed by the bride’s grandparents and the groom’s grandparents. They are then followed by the groomsmen and best man, soon followed by the groom with his parents. Then follows the bridesmaids and maid of honor and finally, the bride enters with her parents. The whole family gets involved in the processional and it's an intriguing sight to witness.

Circling/Hakafot: This is a practice that includes the bride circling the groom three or seven times. While this traditionally refers to the bride creating a “wall of protection” around the groom, the modern couples have introduced variations to this ritual. 

Sheva Brachot: This refers to the seven blessings that are rendered by the rabbi during the wedding ceremony over a cup of wine during the latter part of the proceedings. Generally recited in Hebrew, they are also translated into English as well, as per preference.

Prayer Shawl/Tallit: This is the fringed prayer shawl which seems to be used in several Jewish wedding traditions. In some cases, the bride also gives her groom a wedding gift, and it can also feature as a part of the chuppah. While the final blessings are being showered, the parents of the couple wrap the tallit around the couple’s shoulders, symbolizing unity and love. 

Breaking the Glass: One of the most significant and theatrical practices of the Jewish wedding, the breaking of the glass happens during the final moments of a wedding ceremony. The groom breaks a glass with his right foot, which is then followed by the couple kissing and the guests shouting “Mazel Tov!” meaning “Congratulations!” 

Yichud: Immediately after the wedding ceremony, the newly-weds are secluded from their guests for a period, which is also known as Yichud. Traditionally, this is where the marriage was consummated, but the modern Jewish couples will simply enjoy some quiet together and freshen up before attending to their loved ones at the reception.

Fun Reception Dances: One of the iconic moments of a Jewish wedding is the hora, a fun dance which commences right after the newlyweds enter the reception room, where the traditional Jewish music fills the room, and the guests dance in circles and the couple is seated on chairs and hoisted into the air, where they may hold either side of a handkerchief or cloth napkin.

 

Modern Twists on Traditional Jewish Wedding Traditions

If you are a modern Jewish couple who wants to adopt some rituals from the community, without going all in, or you are attending a wedding of a couple treading similar lines, certain little shifts are introduced to meet the traditions in the middle. If you are looking for variations in the customs of which traditions to cherry-pick from, read on for some fun twists in the traditions.

The Kabbalat Panim tradition or the greeting face tradition focuses on making the bride feel like a queen for her nuptials. While in traditional Jewish weddings, the bride sat on a throne-like chair, while her friends and family would come up and greet her, the modern take on this ritual is shimmered down to a little pre-wedding celebration which consists of beautification for the bride and her gals, a little toast of the bubbly and so on, to make the bride feel like a queen.

Circling the Groom or Hakafot is a tradition where the bride circles her groom seven times, symbolizing the protection of her new husband. The modern couples, however, introduce a twist on this tradition by circling each other to demonstrate equality in their relationship. If this is the case, the bride circles the groom three times, the groom circles the bride three times, and then they circle each other once.

Chuppah, the cloth which covers the wedding ceremony and is about creating something symbolic and beautiful together comes with no legal requirements. This gives the couple the freedom to make it as simple or adorned or personalized as they would like, making it represent exactly what the couple signifies. 

One of the charming Jewish traditions says that a Jewish wedding band should be simple and unbroken gold, a smooth ring portraying an untroubled life and an everlasting marriage. However contemporary Jewish rings may include a little diamond indentation too as per preference. Also, a Jewish wedding ring is worn on the right index finger rather than the left ring finger, as according to Jewish tradition this finger has the closest bloodline to the heart. While most brides adhere to this ritual, once the ceremony ends, most Jewish brides move the wedding ring to the more well-known ring finger.

The recitation of the Sheva Brachot or the seven blessings is the same recitation of the seven blessings before the departure of the bride and groom. However, modern couples include this ritual by having their guests give their own verbal blessings to the wedding couple, which is a sweet gesture!

Yichud is a ritual which refers to the seclusion of the bride and groom from their guests. No one is allowed to meet the couple during this time which can be such a gift, as weddings can be such a blur generally! While the initial idea behind this might be something else, this is a welcome breather for the couple to revel at the moment and enjoy some food and drinks, before they can join in the party!

 

Jewish wedding photography always comes out looking so endearing, be it the Jewish bride, the charming rituals, or the traditional Jewish wedding ceremony. There are so many moments to be captured by our Jewish wedding photographer that every minute is a photo waiting to be seized. A Jewish wedding is a heady mix of history and religion, leaving behind a breadcrumb trail of Jewish traditions that are awe-inspiring! However, no two Jewish weddings are bound to look the same, as it depends on the personalities of the couple and the religious and cultural background of the couple. One factor that remains constant, however, is that there is a strong focus on family and love here, leaving you emotionally touched! If you have always wondered what the certain terms used really means and what certain rituals originate from, we hope this blog leaves you with enough answers, so that you can participate in the next Jewish wedding with a bit more clarity!