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01-03-22

Marriage Resolutions For Your 2022 New Year

A brand new spouse as the ball drops? Marriage is the first step to an exciting new journey, and there is nothing in the world quite like it. The moment you say “I do” to your partner, you are essentially saying yes to a lifetime of memories- shared wins and losses that were made lighter in each other’s company. Full of laughter, joys, challenges, and milestones, marriage is a journey of a lifetime. As soon as you walk down that aisle as a married couple, your world would have instantly changed as you are interwoven in each other's stories. Like every relationship, marriage takes work and intention, and the rewards are just as sweet as the efforts! Having clearly defined goals and areas of concentration sure helps in making the most out of the marriage work.

 

While every marriage is different and there is no one way to do marriage right, there are some things that run universally. Whether you are soon to be married, recently married, or have been married for ages, there are little things you can do to ensure your married life is exciting, fun, and healthy. Whether you just got hitched or are coming up on your 10th anniversary, it’s never too early to start working on your relationship and working towards a healthy and happy future together. And what better time than the new year to turn things around? With a brand new year on the brink of a rise, we have listed some of the things you and your partner can do to ensure your marriage only gets better and stronger as the years roll by. Call them marriage resolutions or relationship intentions, they work just the same!

 

Try something new every month: It is all cool and exciting right after the wedding. Going grocery shopping together to still getting used to the term wife, a new marriage has a lot of fun, excitement, and discovery in its wake. However, the novelty soon paves its way to familiarity, and you will soon settle into the comforting routines and the usual way of life. Trying new things together sure brings the tingling excitement rushing right back, mimicking the excitement you felt when you first started dating! Start with a New Year’s resolution to do at least one new thing together every month, whether it is traveling to a new city, learning a new skill together, trying new cuisine, or doing a new activity. The wackier and adventurous, the better, as it will get your dopamine and serotonin flowing, boosting your love story significantly too!

 

Learn your partner’s love language: We all love differently and what looks like love for you might not be so important to the next person. Take a quick test to find out what your love language is, and also learn about your partner’s love language and practice showing love in each other’s preferred language every day. While we all try to give our best of love to each other, not knowing the preferred love language can be shooting arrows in the dark as it will lead to missed signals, misunderstanding, dissatisfaction, and later regression. But knowing the preferred language forces us to see things differently and wire our efforts to meet their wavelength! It's like a radio working through the cloud of white noise to find the perfect station and play your favorite song, and it's truly a lovely thing to witness!

 

Fight fair: Fighting, differences in opinions, and disagreements are an integral part of any relationship and a love relationship is not above it. But fighting fair is something that needs special focus and intention. This is a fabulous new year’s resolution for couples because studies have found that the best sign of a couple’s long-term potential lies in how they fight. The saddest thing is that we tend to say the meanest things to the people we love the most. While it is easy to love our loved ones when we are all happy and content, it is also important to treat them with love and respect when we are frustrated, angry, or hurt! Fighting fair lets one put their disagreements across without being excessively mean and hurtful. Some of the basics to keep in mind are to not say things you don’t mean, and to never ever use curse words. Use this resolution as an excuse to form boundaries in your argument or pick an aspect of your argument style that you know needs some refinement. 

 

Find a project to complete together: While the perfect combination of easy companionship. The high moments and the low ones are all important in a love relationship, shared goals and enthusiasm have a special place in a marriage. Relationships are strengthened when two people achieve something togetherIt can be anything, from setting a fitness goal, renovating the kitchen, or preparing for a marathon, having a common goal fills you up with excitement, pulls you off your comfort zone, and lets you bond over something equally important to you. And when you finally accomplish it, the reward is much more rewarding than if you were to do it alone!

 

Plan regular date nights: Remember how fun it was when you went out with your significant other on fun dates, whether it is for hot chocolate and board games in your favorite cafe on a rainy day, or it is an afternoon strolling through a museum, peering at art and discussing what intrigues you? Dating is not just a mutually agreed social construct for two people in love. It is fun and exciting and you get to collect so many fun experiences along the way! So there is no viable reason why dating should stop after marriage, as human beings keep on evolving throughout the years and learning is an ageless process. So make time for date nights, whether it is every week, every two weeks, or every month even if you are parents, and make an attempt to reconnect and rediscover. This not only keeps the romance alive in your relationship, but it also shows you how all the years lined up ahead can be such a fun adventure and a beautiful journey, only if you let it be!

 

Little things matter: While big gestures and wild proclamations are cool, it's the little things that matter most in relationships. It is nice to know that there is a person out there who cares about the minutest things and adds romance in small crumb-sized bits to your life. Whether it is brewing the morning cup of coffee for you or picking up your favorite candy on the weekly grocery run, Whether it is a sweet text in the morning or bringing in your favorite flowers on a particularly hard day, little things make for a big impact. So make those little moments count and add magic to the regular days by just going that extra mile. Does it take effort? Sometimes! Is it worth it? Absolutely!

 

Little things also don't matter! At the risk of contradicting our previous statement, we also believe that it is important to not sweat on the little things. While some little things are worth magnifying, there are other minor inconveniences and irks of each other which are better to be ignored. It is only natural that two coexisting people can do many little things to tick each other off unintentionally, but ask yourself does it matter in the grand spectrum of things? Sometimes if you keep on piling those little irritants about each other, it can lead to a massive fight tomorrow. If it is something you won't care about tomorrow, let it go! Accept the fact that people differ and your partner is not you and will do things differently, and give them the benefit of doubt. If it's a bigger habit or recurring thing which you can't let go of, address why it is bothering you, and have a healthy conversation with your spouse. However, you will find that most of the things are not even that big of a deal!

 

Stay positive: While it is easy to get into a critical and negative state of mind whenever you are dealing with someone as close as your spouse, it is important to remember that even they need to feel motivated and positive and you might need to be that person in their life. Of course, if they are onto a path that you don't agree on it is ok to have a talk, but if you find yourself saying more negative things to your partner, arguing, complaining, and discouraging than sharing positive vibes you might want to look within and find what is bothering you. It is obvious that everybody wants to be around people who make you feel like sunshine and are full of positivity, happiness, and motivation. It might not be possible or realistic to be that person every day, but we can all benefit from having a more positive outlook in life and love!

 

Money matters: It is no surprise that money matters are generally the cause of many arguments and fallouts between couples. Money is a very personal matter and everyone has their own way of managing their finances. While it is a personal matter, like many things in life, money also becomes a familial matter after marriage, something that the couple manages together for their own family. Differences in the relationship with money, spending patterns, and secrets in finances can be detrimental for the health of a relationship. A great marriage resolution is to plan your finances every month together and set financial goals together. This way you will have a shared vision to work towards. Also, maintaining the narrative of our money instead of my money is something that you can walk towards, as shared finances seem to be one of the most intimate yet practical things you can do as a couple.

 

Take time for yourself: Only when you take time to nurture yourself, only then will you be able to give your best to the people around you, which also include your spouse. It is very easy to get into doing everything together and forgetting to take time out for yourself. So make a resolution to do something for yourself, be it taking a spa day, reading a book, or calling a friend over for tea. You can also take this time to try out a new hobby that is exclusive to your interest. Every day you take some time off and spend it with yourself, your relationship with yourself will improve and you will be able to give your best version to the people around you. Me-time can make you a happier person and, therefore, a better person to be in a relationship with. Not to mention, this also allows your partner to do the same and pursue their interests, so this is the perfect win-win situation.

 

According to research from the Journal of Clinical Psychology, approximately 8% of Americans actually make good progress on their New Year's resolutions, which might be a discouraging number. The biggest challenge with marriage resolutions is that couples make huge declarations and have difficulty following up when in reality they should be focusing on smaller relationship habits. The cheat code to accomplish your marriage resolutions is to focus on ‘how’ instead of ‘what.’ For example, if you want to spend more quality time with your spouse, try having weekly date nights, and the quality time will fall into place. There are so many healthy relationship habits out there, but you don't have to pick them all, nor do you have to make all those suggested changes. The great thing about marriage relationships is that you and your spouse get to work together, personalize it and do what works best for you! And it's a good thing you have a lifetime to work on it too, so buckle up, hold each other's hands and enjoy the wild ride!

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